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Teddy Roosevelt
TEDDY ROOSEVELT
Rank: Jimmy Olav Rokne
Nominated by Olav Rokne

June 2009 Champion

Adventurer, intellectual, author, soldier, cowboy, policeman, historian, America’s youngest president was all of these and more. An avid bibliophile with a photographic memory, Teddy Roosevelt loved to fight in the boxing ring and to hunt big game. Although he shot and killed hundreds of endangered animals, he also provided for greater environmental protection regulations than almost any other president. He was a man of many contradictions, but seemed to live life on a grander scale than is possible for even the most awesome among us.

In 1912, While Roosevelt was campaigning in Milwaukee, a saloon keeper named John Schrank shot him. Teddy Roosevelt, as an experienced hunter and anatomist, correctly concluded that since he wasn't coughing blood the bullet had not completely penetrated the chest wall to his lung, and so declined suggestions he go to the hospital immediately. Instead, he delivered his scheduled speech with blood seeping into his shirt.

His opening comments to the gathered crowd were, "Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose."

The man was a total badass whose genius intellect was only matched by the speed of his trigger finger and the force of his right hook.

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Teddy Roosevelt was voted LESS AWESOME than:

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The Couch Dress
THE COUCH DRESS
Rank: A Very Model of a Modern Major General Ivana B. Awesome
Nominated by Ivana B. Awesome

3rd Place October 08

Wow! The Couch Dress...who wouldn't want to snuggle up to you! Perfect for those evenings you want to stay in and still look your best! Any self respecting woman would crochet this for herself...but if your short for time.....check out http://www.pantalaine.com for this and many other Awesome products.

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it's gonna be hot.


Gunther

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Rank: Pepper onetwobri
onetwobri commented ( about Teddy Roosevelt ) on 6/14/2009
Some Fast Facts about Teddy Roosevelt:
  • Roosevelt began every day by wrestling his entire cabinet and throwing them out the window.
  • When Rejected by the Mainstream Republican Party, Roosevelt created the "Bull Moose" party. Initially, only moose were allowed to join, as Roosevelt admired their solid, stubborn nature, their hatred of trusts, and their ability to legally have sex with female moose.
  • Later, party membership would be open to anyone who could grow antlers
  • The "teddy bear" was named after Teddy Roosevelt because of his love of bear meat and the fact that he was covered in fur
  • Teddy Roosevelt originally built the American Museum of Natural History as a kind of lepidopterist's "killing jar." But instead of butterflies, he put dinosaurs inside and starved them until they were skeletons
  • Roosevelt was originally from New York, but he shat Pennsylvania
  • Roosevelt died fighting an old lion and was buried in Mount Rushmore, where his gigantic, fossilized face stares out over the country he beat into shape to this very day.
(John Hodgman, More Information Than You Require) reply high five1

Rank: George Ivan Awesomeoff
Ivan Awesomeoff replied to onetwobri on 6/14/2009
If John Hodgman said it, I believe it reply high five

Rank: Pepper onetwobri
onetwobri replied to Ivan Awesomeoff on 6/14/2009
could you fix the format of my comment so it lists the fast facts? like..... -blah blah blah (enter) -blah blah blah reply high five2

Rank: Jimmy Olav Rokne
Olav Rokne replied to onetwobri on 6/14/2009
Wow! John Hodgman knows a lot about Teddy Roosevelt. reply high five

Rank: Pepper onetwobri
onetwobri replied to on 6/15/2009
thanks ivan! reply high five

Rank: Pepper Patrick Moniz
Patrick Moniz replied to onetwobri on 6/16/2009
And this is the most pertinent fact, Teddy Roosevelt fathered Chuck Norris! reply high five

Anonymous commented ( about The Couch Dress ) on 10/12/2008
Can I get that in purple?? reply high five


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