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Library of Congress
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS
Rank: Tom Olav Rokne
Nominated by Olav Rokne
4th Place June 09

Olav wrote us this letter about the library of congress, as a recent visitor, and a Canadian, we think he makes as good a case for it as any text we could write about it:

The Library of Congress is the world's largest library. More than 32 million books, 15 million periodicals, movies and 100 million other items add up to hundreds of miles of shelf space and several terabytes of information. What's awesome about that? It is an institution that is open to public use. That's right, not just the use of Congress, not just the use of Americans, but the use of anyone from any part of the globe.

The world's largest repository of information is accessible to everyone. Considering the size of the collection, the labrynthine warren of tunnels in which the books are stored and the demands of the public, one would understand if it took the librarians several days to find any particular book. However, just about any book in the collection can be retrieved within an hour. Seriously! One hour!

I was there last weekend doing some research and I requested New Computer Methods for Global Optimization  an obscure book from 1988 that had a print run of less than 500 copies. They had it in my hands in 15 minutes! That's incredible. I'm going to go so far as to say that The Library of Congress isn't just awesome, it's one of the Wonders of the World. There are many great things about America, but I would list the Library of Congress as the single best. It is all of the greatest achievements of Western Civilization under one roof, at the fingertips of all those who seek knowledge.

Seriously. I was awe-struck. I am awe-struck. I'm well-known as someone who is loquacious, and I can't even find the words to express how impressed I was with the Library of Congress.

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Library of Congress was voted MORE AWESOME than:

Teddy Roosevelt


Moustache Balaclava


Shaved Ball Cap


Giant Nintendo Controller


Little Superstar


Meat Suitcase


Venus Fly Traps


Unibrow


Theo Jansen's Art


General Lee 01


Crop Circles


BigDog Robot


Roller Derby


Freerunning


Dwight K. Schrute


President Obama


The Hamburger Bed


Wingsuit Base Jumping


Bob Ross


Flying Spaghetti Monster


Badass Mountain Men


Beer Maids


Rollerman


Space Invader Invasion


The Brick Testament


Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton


The Man with No Name


The Stig


Queen of the Mist


Deja Vu


Ultra Slow Motion


Troy Hurtubise's Inventions


Gong


Keith Loutit's Little Sydney


Soccer* Hooligans


Reliant Robin


Teddy Roosevelt


Choose Your Own Adventure Books


Tiesto


Rasputin


The Disintegrator: Rubber Band Minigun


Death Star


Mermaids


Male Emperor Penguins


Indy's Whip


Literal Video Versions


Chuck Norris vs. Bruce Lee


Hunter S. Thompson


Extent of the Universe


Mark Twain


Library of Congress was voted LESS AWESOME than:

Nikola Tesla


Robocop on a Unicorn


Miracle On Ice


Aurora Borealis


Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator


Captain James T. Kirk


Captain James T. Kirk


Johnny Cash


Teddy Roosevelt


Death Star


James Earl Jones Counts to 10


James Earl Jones Counts to 10


Jesus Riding A Dinosaur


Walking on the Moon

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Teddy Roosevelt
TEDDY ROOSEVELT
Rank: Tom Olav Rokne
Nominated by Olav Rokne
June 2009 Champion

Adventurer, intellectual, author, soldier, cowboy, policeman, historian, America’s youngest president was all of these and more. An avid bibliophile with a photographic memory, Teddy Roosevelt loved to fight in the boxing ring and to hunt big game. Although he shot and killed hundreds of endangered animals, he also provided for greater environmental protection regulations than almost any other president. He was a man of many contradictions, but seemed to live life on a grander scale than is possible for even the most awesome among us.

In 1912, While Roosevelt was campaigning in Milwaukee, a saloon keeper named John Schrank shot him. Teddy Roosevelt, as an experienced hunter and anatomist, correctly concluded that since he wasn't coughing blood the bullet had not completely penetrated the chest wall to his lung, and so declined suggestions he go to the hospital immediately. Instead, he delivered his scheduled speech with blood seeping into his shirt.

His opening comments to the gathered crowd were, "Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose."

The man was a total badass whose genius intellect was only matched by the speed of his trigger finger and the force of his right hook.

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Teddy Roosevelt was voted MORE AWESOME than:

Chewbacca


The Couch Dress


Moustache Balaclava


Shaved Ball Cap


Giant Nintendo Controller


Jesus Christ


Meat Suitcase


Unibrow


Theo Jansen's Art


Theo Jansen's Art


General Lee 01


Crop Circles


Mock Apple Pie


Robocop on a Unicorn


Roller Derby


Freerunning


Dwight K. Schrute


Miracle On Ice


President Obama


The Hamburger Bed


Flying Spaghetti Monster


Badass Mountain Men


Beer Maids


Hedgehogs


WAKE n' BACON


Zombies


Space Invader Invasion


Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator


The Brick Testament


Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton


Captain James T. Kirk


The Man with No Name


Banksy


Octo-Stache


Peekaru


Queen of the Mist


Deja Vu


Ultra Slow Motion


Troy Hurtubise's Inventions


Troy Hurtubise's Inventions


The Viking Helmet


Johnny Cash


Stinky Cheese


James Earl Jones Counts to 10


Death Star


Chindogu


Tiesto


Library of Congress


Notorious B.I.G. Doll


Rasputin


Che Guevara


James Earl Jones Counts to 10


Death Star


Death Star


Mermaids


Male Emperor Penguins


Rockin' Steady


Indy's Whip


Literal Video Versions


Chuck Norris vs. Bruce Lee


Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka


Hunter S. Thompson


Emperor Norton


Jesus Riding A Dinosaur


Teddy Roosevelt was voted LESS AWESOME than:

Nikola Tesla


Aurora Borealis


Library of Congress


Library of Congress

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Rank: Tom Olav Rokne
Olav Rokne commented ( about Library of Congress ) on 9/14/2009
A) Books are awesome.
B) Large quantities of books are more awesome than lesser quantities.
C) Democracy is awesome.
D) Freedom of speech is awesome.
E) Freedom of information is awesome.
F) Thomas Jefferson is awesome.

The Library of Congress combines the net awesomeness of that entire list, in an awesome building, with awesome organization, awesome people running it and awesome art on the walls.

This should be in the Top 8. I am more in awe of this than the sum of all other nominees, even though all nominees this month are awesome in their own right. reply

Rank: Blade Godbot
Godbot replied to Olav Rokne on 9/14/2009
Agreed. reply

Rank: Schultz onetwobri
onetwobri commented ( about Teddy Roosevelt ) on 6/14/2009
Some Fast Facts about Teddy Roosevelt:
  • Roosevelt began every day by wrestling his entire cabinet and throwing them out the window.
  • When Rejected by the Mainstream Republican Party, Roosevelt created the "Bull Moose" party. Initially, only moose were allowed to join, as Roosevelt admired their solid, stubborn nature, their hatred of trusts, and their ability to legally have sex with female moose.
  • Later, party membership would be open to anyone who could grow antlers
  • The "teddy bear" was named after Teddy Roosevelt because of his love of bear meat and the fact that he was covered in fur
  • Teddy Roosevelt originally built the American Museum of Natural History as a kind of lepidopterist's "killing jar." But instead of butterflies, he put dinosaurs inside and starved them until they were skeletons
  • Roosevelt was originally from New York, but he shat Pennsylvania
  • Roosevelt died fighting an old lion and was buried in Mount Rushmore, where his gigantic, fossilized face stares out over the country he beat into shape to this very day.
(John Hodgman, More Information Than You Require) reply

Rank: Tom Ivan Awesomeoff
Ivan Awesomeoff replied to onetwobri on 6/14/2009
If John Hodgman said it, I believe it reply

Rank: Schultz onetwobri
onetwobri replied to Ivan Awesomeoff on 6/14/2009
could you fix the format of my comment so it lists the fast facts? like..... -blah blah blah (enter) -blah blah blah reply

Rank: Tom Olav Rokne
Olav Rokne replied to onetwobri on 6/14/2009
Wow! John Hodgman knows a lot about Teddy Roosevelt. reply

Rank: Schultz onetwobri
onetwobri replied to on 6/15/2009
thanks ivan! reply

Rank: Pepper Patrick Moniz
Patrick Moniz replied to onetwobri on 6/16/2009
And this is the most pertinent fact, Teddy Roosevelt fathered Chuck Norris! reply

Rank: Tom Olav Rokne
Olav Rokne commented ( about this matchup ) on 6/12/2009
I nominated both of these and can't decide. They are clearly my favourite two things I've ever nominated. reply

Rank: Tom Ivan Awesomeoff
Ivan Awesomeoff replied to Olav Rokne on 6/13/2009
I think this is the most difficult Olav-off yet reply

Rank: Tom Olav Rokne
Olav Rokne replied to Ivan Awesomeoff on 6/15/2009
I ended up voting for The Library of Congress, because of the visceral, emotional, dumbfounded reaction I had to my recent visit. Seriously, after spending a couple of days there, I was speechless.

But I can't say that I was unhappy with either one winning. reply

Rank: Klinger Jack McTanner
Jack McTanner commented ( about this matchup ) on 6/12/2009
Oh god. This is too much to handle. I don't know if I can vote on this one. No. Definitely not. reply

Rank: Blade the_mad_nader
the_mad_nader commented ( about Library of Congress ) on 6/5/2009
The Great Library of Alexandria was one of the 7 Wonders of the Ancient World...perhaps the Library of Congress should be considered one of the Wonders of the Modern World? THAT would be awesome! reply

Rank: Tom Olav Rokne
Olav Rokne replied to the_mad_nader on 6/5/2009
IMHO, the LoC is all seven wonders of the Modern World. reply


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