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Rasputin
RASPUTIN
Rank: Colonel Ivana B. Awesome
Nominated by Ivana B. Awesome

Was Rasputin the greatest con man of the 20th century?  or truly an 'almost' invincible mystic? 

Born a peasant in Siberia, it was said he had supernatural powers. The loss of his siblings and his religious training led him to wander the 'mother land'.  Rasputin became know as a holy man with healing powers and the ability to predict the future.  He did just that for Aleksei,  the heir to Russian thrown.  Blinded by Rasputin's gift of healing her son Tsarina, Aleksandra invited this grungy, hedonistic man to infest the Russian royalty. 

However, Tsarina's endorsement of Rasputin was not enough to allow the outsider undeserving power.  Knowing Rasputin's seductive ways, Prince Felix Yusupov and several others lured him into a basement to await the fine Irena.  There he was fed poisonous wine and cake, enough to kill five men, but not Rasputin.  Frustrated and nervous Yusupov shot Rasputin dead.  However, when Yusupov returned to the basement several hours later Rasputin was opened an eye and was quite alive.  Horrified the aristocrats mercilessly beat and tied Rasputin and drown him in a river. Perhaps Rasputin would have survived this attempt as well if the river hadn't been frozen over.  (Of course his murder and the future death of the royal family was predicted by Rasputin.)  





 

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Rasputin was voted MORE AWESOME than:

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Soccer* Hooligans
SOCCER* HOOLIGANS
Rank: Schultz Awesome Igi
Nominated by Awesome Igi

These fans are tough! They have to withstand verbal abuse, man to man combat and all out riots.  Weapons usually include beer bottles, rocks and cricket bats.  The lush green grass on the field means nothing to soccer* diehards who crowd in the stands....where panic can break out at any moment testing facility railings, exists and basic fire resistance.  If these fans make it from the stadium, riot police are waiting in the streets with tear gas, rubber bullets and water cannons.  Soccer* may be for pansy asses but being a fan takes some grit. (* Football for the majority of the world.)

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Rank: Ermey Yorky
Yorky commented ( about Soccer* Hooligans ) on 6/19/2009
Regarding the parenthetical statement that Soccer is, "Football for the majority of the world", I don't believe this is case.

I. The majority of world don't speak English;

I. A significant proportion of the English speaking world, possibly the majority, use football to describe American Football, Canadian Football, Australian Rules Football, Rugby League, or Gaelic Football. reply

Rank: Tom Ghazi
Ghazi replied to Yorky on 6/19/2009
I. The majority of the world DOESN'T speak english; apparantly that includes you.

II. Most of the rest of the English speaking world regards Soccer as Football, and Football as American Football. reply

Rank: Ermey Yorky
Yorky replied to Ghazi on 6/19/2009
Afterthought: I left rugby union off the list because I didn't think anyone called it football. In school, however, we called rugby football and association football "rugger" and "soccer" respectively: therefore that's another demographic that call association football soccer.

I do speak English, the majority of the world do not: what's the problem with using the contraction "don't" (which is also a non-standard contraction of does not, by the way).

Once we've taken the United States, Canada, Australia, and Ireland out of the equation: do you really think you're still left with a majority of the Anglosphere? reply

Rank: Tom Ghazi
Ghazi replied to Yorky on 6/19/2009
It is a contraction of Do not, not Does not. /me looks for ignore button. reply

Rank: Ermey Yorky
Yorky replied to Ghazi on 6/19/2009
Personally I don't rate IQ tests, but that don't mean to say I can't score quite highly on them.

http://www.answers.com/don't reply

Rank: Colonel The Dude
The Dude replied to Yorky on 6/19/2009
Don't is the contraction of Do Not. Doesn't is the contraction of Does Not. Doesn't would have been grammatically correct for English. Don't is grammatically correct for Ebonics. it depends on what dialect you're speaking. I didn't know there were trolls under this bridge. reply

Rank: Schultz Under the Radar
Under the Radar replied to The Dude on 6/19/2009
Sure there are, it's the bridge to Douchebagistan. reply

Rank: Tom Ghazi
Ghazi replied to on 6/20/2009
Alright, guess I'll have to use the manual ignore button by reading stupid crap, shaking my head and moving on whilst holding my tongue. Cheers. reply

Rank: Schultz Under the Radar
Under the Radar replied to on 6/19/2009
Oh, shut yer mock-apple-piehole. reply

Rank: Blade the_mad_nader
the_mad_nader replied to Under the Radar on 6/19/2009
Word! reply

Rank: Schultz onetwobri
onetwobri commented ( about Rasputin ) on 6/10/2009
rasputin is too much of a creeper for me to vote for him and/or think he's awesome. reply

Rank: Colonel The Dude
The Dude replied to onetwobri on 6/10/2009
The man was poisoned, shot, stabbed, had his penis removed (a fairly "sizable" operation, rumor has it), tied up in a bag, thrown into a river, and finally died from drowning. Creepy or not, That's pretty Awesome. reply

Rank: Pepper Patrick Moniz
Patrick Moniz replied to The Dude on 6/10/2009
Yeah, I have to say, even though he might have been a commie, he was probably the only awesome commie reply

Rank: Colonel The Dude
The Dude replied to Patrick Moniz on 6/11/2009
Rasputin was not a communist. He was a holy man, which would be forbidden under Communism (religion is, after all, the opiate of the masses.) Grigori Rasputin was the confidant and personal advisor to Tsarina Alexandra. Some say more. Rumors and hearsay account that he was a particularly debauched individual, and because of this, he may have helped lead into the October Revolution, when the Communists seized power. Shortly after Rasputin's assassination (a reportedly long, drawn-out affair), The Romanovs were killed, and the Communists took over. the other side of the coin accounts that Rasputin was a mystic, a healer, and a pilgrim. A devout man of God. reply

Rank: Colonel The Dude
The Dude replied to The Dude on 6/11/2009
Oh, and Alan Rickman played Rasputin in the HBO bio-pic. Alan Rickman also played Hans Gruber in Die Hard. Hence: Awesome. reply

Rank: Schultz onetwobri
onetwobri replied to The Dude on 6/11/2009
the way that he died is awesome (although really, really creepy) they way he lived his life and who he was..... not awesome. The third side of the coin (ha ha) accounts that he sold his soul to satan and played himself off as a holy man by preforming "miracles." (i am NOT citing that horrible disney movie, swear to god) He was like the wormtoungue of real life. a total creeper. seriously, look at a stillshot of him. his eyes make you want to kill something. reply

Rank: Colonel Ivana B. Awesome
Ivana B. Awesome replied to onetwobri on 6/11/2009
I kind of find him sexy in some strange way. (I guess others did too.) Perhaps the fact that one peasant (a creeper of one)can take down an entire country with a little positive talking and love making, makes him awesome. reply

Rank: Blade JS
JS replied to on 6/11/2009
The story of his death has no doubt been exaggerated, but as I recall, he died of hypothermia. As I recall, his body was found, frozen, crawling up the shore of the river. Or so the story goes. reply

Rank: Colonel The Dude
The Dude replied to JS on 6/12/2009
The official Secret Police file on Rasputin states that he died of drowning. They knew he was alive because he managed to free one of his arms from bondage and seemed to be crossing himself as he died. Popular theories now say that his cause of death was actually contrived by officials to keep Rasputin from being made into a saint by the Romanovs. Interestingly, when Prince Felix Yusupov and the Grand Duke Dmitri Pavlovich invited Rasputin into the basement where they would assassinate him, they put on a grammaphone cylinder, but the only cylinder they owned was "Yankee Doodle." I don't know what it means, but it's interesting. reply

Rank: Blade the_mad_nader
the_mad_nader replied to on 6/11/2009
Rasputin kinda embodies the ideal of "will to power" - life handed him no advantages, yet he conned, bluffed, and weaseled his way to the highest halls of power in Tsarist Russia. Pretty darned awesome! Plus, he looked grubby as all hell, yet the ladies lurved him. Musta been awesome at (ahem) something! reply

Rank: Colonel The Dude
The Dude replied to the_mad_nader on 6/11/2009
Rasputin was legendary for his anatomical prowess. reply

Rank: T.B.D. (Captain) The McBoxman
The McBoxman commented ( about Soccer* Hooligans ) on 6/5/2009
Just to be clear, but Toronto FC fans are probably the big @$$holes in the MLS. Feel the shame. reply

Rank: Blade the_mad_nader
the_mad_nader commented ( about Soccer* Hooligans ) on 6/5/2009
Hmmm, I could see the argument that this is the anti-thesis of awesome. Who likes drunk thugs that indiscriminately assault people and property? Tossing full baggies of urine at people? Not awesome reply


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