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       PAUL BUNYAN
4th Place April 09 It took 5 giant storks to deliver this Legendary Lumberjack. As a baby his laugh broke every window in the house. He quickly learned that the Northwoods was the best place for someone with his strength. He could take down a whole forest with one swing of his ax. Lucky for him, Babe his Blue Ox helped haul in the lumber. Paul Bunyan can take credit for creating the Great Lakes, the Grand Canyon and Mount Hood. But in my opinion the best thing that came out of the folk legend is the Lumberjack Breakfast.
Nominated by Mountain Man
Image Credits
Filename: PaulBunyan.jpgSource: abbey*christine on flickr cc Url: http://www.flickr.com/photos/abbeychristine/846941931/ 
Filename: paulbunyan_babe.jpgSource: Marilyn M on flickr cc Url: http://www.flickr.com/photos/moomoo/404370115/ 
Filename: PaulBunyan_logs.jpgSource: Mykl Roventine on flickr cc Url: http://www.flickr.com/photos/myklroventine/1456553262/ 
Filename: PaulBunyan_festival.jpgSource: 12fh on flickr cc Url: http://www.flickr.com/photos/12fh/1230491208/ 
Filename: PaulBunyan_beard.jpgSource: mstephens7 on flickr cc Url: http://www.flickr.com/photos/michaelsphotos/148674452/
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Paul Bunyan was voted MORE AWESOME than:
 Monster Trucks  The Couch Dress  Moustache Balaclava  Lamborghinis & Deloreans  Meat Suitcase  Sasquatch  Garden Gnomes  General Lee 01  Mock Apple Pie  El Chupacabra  Dwight K. Schrute  Mister Rogers doing The Wave  The Hamburger Bed  Bob Ross  Polio Vaccine  Beer Maids  Ski Jump Toilet  Ninja Hauler Listing  Double-Necked Guitars  Smoking Smarties  Master of the Internet  Cossacks  Super Broker Shuffle  Easter Eggs  The Leia Wig  Nessie  Hammerhead Sharks  Max Raabe  This Super Stars MusiCard  James Earl Jones Counts to 10  Literal Video Versions Paul Bunyan was voted LESS AWESOME than:  Chewbacca  Giant Nintendo Controller  Venus Fly Traps  Theo Jansen's Art  Robocop on a Unicorn  Roller Derby  Freerunning  Wingsuit Base Jumping  Badass Mountain Men  Hedgehogs  WAKE n' BACON  Zombies  Rollerman Rollerman  Extreme Shepherding  Space Invader Invasion Space Invader Invasion Space Invader Invasion  Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator  The Brick Testament  Captain James T. Kirk  Johnny Cash  Death Star  Chuck Norris vs. Bruce Lee  Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka  Hunter S. Thompson  MST3K  Extent of the Universe  Mark Twain  Emperor Norton  Jesus Riding A Dinosaur  Walking on the Moon  Les Claypool
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   MOCK APPLE PIE
Special Selection February 09 Fer realz! You can bake an apple pie, substituting the apples for ritz crackers. This pie was invented 1852, during the migration west—when young women did not have those crisp New England apples available—being homesick they invented this pie. I'm not sure if this recipe has survived because of corporate cracker marketing or perhaps it has something to do with not outdoing your mother in-law. PS.. if you like cookin with the ritz....try Faux Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookies.
Nominated by duckdog
Image Credits
Filename: mock_apple_pie.jpgSource: 3liz4 on flickr cc Url: http://flickr.com/photos/seadam/2525046441/
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Mock Apple Pie was voted MORE AWESOME than:
The Couch Dress Meat Suitcase General Lee 01 Dwight K. Schrute Mock Apple Pie was voted LESS AWESOME than:  Afros Chewbacca  Shaved Ball Cap Giant Nintendo Controller  Jesus Christ  The Krull Glaive  Little Superstar Venus Fly Traps  Nikola Tesla  Ghost Riding da Whip  Crop Circles El Chupacabra Robocop on a Unicorn Freerunning Mister Rogers doing The Wave  Miracle On Ice  Don King  President Obama  Velcro Shoes  Enclose by Bea Camacho The Hamburger Bed The Hamburger Bed Wingsuit Base Jumping  Mr. Snuffleupagus  ANTS  Batmobile  Underoos! Bob Ross Bob Ross  Big Wheel Racing  Saber Toothed Deer  Aurora Borealis Aurora Borealis  Corndog Pizza  Shrunken Heads  Easy Cheese  Leeroy Jenkins!  Flying Spaghetti Monster Flying Spaghetti Monster  Dramatic Chipmunk Badass Mountain Men  Journey's Arnel Pineda  Plight of the Snowman  Major League Gaming Hedgehogs WAKE n' BACON Rollerman Paul Bunyan Space Invader Invasion The Brick Testament  Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton Captain James T. Kirk  The Man with No Name  Banksy  Teddy Roosevelt James Earl Jones Counts to 10 Chuck Norris vs. Bruce Lee Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka Hunter S. Thompson MST3K Extent of the Universe Mark Twain Emperor Norton Jesus Riding A Dinosaur Walking on the Moon Les Claypool
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Thoughts on baking and eating Mock Apple Pie:
"Don't you want a little taste of the glory? See what it taste like?" - Nacho Libre
Mock Apple Pie is easy to make. Besides Ritz Crackers, its main ingredient is a lemony simple syrup. Surround both in pie shell, sprinkle some cinnamon in there too, and you've got Mock Apple Pie. It has more of a citrus-like, lemony flavor, but I can see it being a decent stand-in in a time and place where apples were hard to come by or too extravagant an expense. But my take on it is it stands on its own. It doesn't need to pass as an apple pie imitation; its good in its own right.
The world hosts many castaways. There's the kid who doesn't get picked for the games. There's the girl who doesn't get asked to the dances. There's the Cubs fan, cheering year after year and always coming up short. And there's Mock Apple Pie, a symbol of losing here in the Awesomeoff community. But doesn't every castaway have a little awesome? The kid who doesn't get picked for the games creates a billion-dollar software company. The girl who doesn't get asked to the dance find the person who knows she's beautiful. The Cubs fan . . . well, isn't there some awesome in their undefeated hope? And Mock Apple Pie, wasn't it awesome to the western settlers, dreaming of the apple pies they had back east?
As I had my first bite of MAP I thought, "Sweet, tasty, pretty good and . . . (Dare I say? Yes, I shall) . . . awesome.
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I had trouble uploading the pic of me eating MAP (I think I maxed out my photo content with too many pictures of the Most Interesting Man). Anyway, if you're curious, it's here: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2370704&l=6f863b70a1&id=505254157
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Thanks for the great post. Never shall I mock Mock Apple Pie again, and humbly beg forgiveness for those incidents of unrighteous pie mockery in my past. DorkPower, I salute you!
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Just when I was about to declare this one of the most incredible things to ever happen on AwesomeOff, it occurred to me... when they Cubs finally get their long awaited World Series championship ring, their fans will not devour them!?! You ate the champion! Mock Apple pie is awesome because of its ability to dance and sing, not because it was tasty!!??! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
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I think we're still along way from calling MAP a champion. It's simple earned the right not to be the benchmark for un-Awesomeness. From now on, the un-Awesome will be referred to as Couch Dress. I'd say Meat Suitcase (I too am turned off by the turd in the suitcase), but it still has 5,000 more votes and one less match than the Couch Dress.
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When Meat Suitcase gets a win, I'll eat it, too (except the turd, though).
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MAP is up by ten points on Paul Bunyon. The momentum is building! I'm predicting a Bukowski-like turnaround and winning streak for Mock Apple Pie. I'm going to the store for MAP ingredients today, in anticipation of the victory feast.
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I agree it's inevitable that Mock Apple Pie is going to get a win, but come on!!! It's Paul Effing Bunyan!!! The guy was sixty three axe handles tall! He's Awesome on an EPIC scale!
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I'm crushed. ==+Bob Ross HAS DEFEATED Mock Apple Pie by a final score of: 1254 to 1248==
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The battle is not over. I think MAP should win over Couch Dress, Meat Suitcase, and Moustache Balaclava.
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I switched my vote on this one at the last minute, and it was my vote that ended it.
I realized that Bob Ross was way more awesome than MAP. I realized that I couldn't bring myself to vote on the basis of a desire for MAP to get a win, when MAP didn't deserve my vote. Bob Ross did. reply
"OMG You killed MAPpy! You B@$T@RD!"
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For some reason I really want to see Mock Apple Pie get a win this time. So here's my promise: if it wins a match I will bake one and make my profile picture for the rest of the month be of me eating it.
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Awesome!
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I don't know if I can vote against a real life mad genius. I didn't see him die and if comic books have taught me anything it's, if you did actually witness the death it most likely didn't happen. So I have no choice but to believe he is alive and has created an even more efficient way of harnessing electricity to smite his foes. So my vote is going to stay with Tesla.
Also, that pie sounds dreadful.
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lol .. why is this here?
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Some Awesome things about Paul Bunyan:
Paul Bunyan created the Great Lakes so he would have a watering hole large enough for Babe.
When he was a week old, he had to wear his father's clothes.
Paul's clothing was so large they had to use wagon wheels for buttons. They used a lumber wagon drawn by a team of oxen as a baby carriage.
He outgre that, and they had to build him a raft and floated it off the coast of Maine. When Paul turned over, it caused a 75 foot tidal wave in the Bay of Fundy. They had to send the British Navy over to Maine to wake him up. The sailors fired every canon they had in the fleet for seven hours straight before Paul Bunyan woke from his nap! When he stepped off the raft, Paul accidentally sank four war ships and he had to scramble around sccooping sailors out of the water before they drowned.
Paul Bunyan was the Chuck Norris of his time.
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Whats even more Awesome is that Paul and I originate from the same state (or at least Bangor claims he did)! His big ole wooden statue is just across town.
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