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Dwight K. Schrute
DWIGHT K. SCHRUTE
Rank: Tom Ivan Awesomeoff
Nominated by Ivan Awesomeoff
2nd Place January 09

Here is a small list to refresh your memory why Dwight is Awesome:

  • faster than 90% of all snakes
  • can escape from a straight jacket
  • purple belt in Goju-Ryu karate
  • plays the recorder
  • creator of Schrute bucks
  • hunted warewolves
  • trained in the art of survelliance
  • consideres himself a survivalist
  • can tell if you are lying
  • skilled at table tennis
  • prays to thor


"I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose?and a panther."

"How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammer?merciless?insatiable?"

"I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves.  I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog."

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Dwight K. Schrute was voted MORE AWESOME than:

The Couch Dress


High Fives


General Lee 01


Crop Circles


BigDog Robot


Gurdjieff


Great Wall of China


My Shreddies


Wife Carrying


The Moonwalk


Daito Manabe's Electic Stimulus


Brewing Monks


Godzilla


Bumper Stickers


Fanny Packs


Igloos


Mister Rogers doing The Wave


President Obama


Song for Sarah


Skyrest Pillow


Erwin Wurm's "Fat House"


Pee Wee Herman's Bicycle


Buzkashi


Benny Lava


The Hamburger Bed


Bob Ross


Beer Maids


Chuck Norris vs. Bruce Lee


Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka


Dwight K. Schrute was voted LESS AWESOME than:

Chewbacca


Jesus Christ


Little Superstar


Venus Fly Traps


Theo Jansen's Art


Nikola Tesla


Mock Apple Pie


El Chupacabra


Robocop on a Unicorn


Roller Derby


Black Holes


Your Grammie


President Obama


Wingsuit Base Jumping


Aurora Borealis


Badass Mountain Men


Zombies


Paul Bunyan


Space Invader Invasion


Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator


The Brick Testament


Captain James T. Kirk


The Man with No Name


Banksy


Teddy Roosevelt


Library of Congress


James Earl Jones Counts to 10


Death Star


Hunter S. Thompson


MST3K


Extent of the Universe


Mark Twain


Jesus Riding A Dinosaur


Walking on the Moon


Les Claypool

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Bumper Stickers
BUMPER STICKERS
Rank: Tom Ivan Awesomeoff
Nominated by Ivan Awesomeoff

Nothing says "I have a very strong religious or political conviction" like a permanent plastic sticker that tells the world all about that conviction.  And nothing looks dumber on the car you are trying to sell than a Dole-Kemp '96 sticker on the paint.  But still, there is no better way to tell the same joke eighty thousand times than attaching it to your car.

What is your all time favorite bumper sticker?  Just in case any of the car owners above have room for one more bumper sticker.... (Click on the comment tab above to keep comment with entry for the entire month.) 

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Bumper Stickers was voted MORE AWESOME than:

Gurdjieff


Fanny Packs


Bumper Stickers was voted LESS AWESOME than:

Ninja


PEZ


High Fives


Great Wall of China


My Shreddies


Wife Carrying


Freerunning


Brewing Monks


Godzilla


Black Holes


Dwight K. Schrute


Your Grammie


Streaking during a sporting event


President Obama


Song for Sarah


Erwin Wurm's "Fat House"

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Rank: Colonel DorkPower
DorkPower commented ( about Dwight K. Schrute ) on 10/9/2009
4000th vote goes to Dwight. reply

Rank: Tom Ivan Awesomeoff
Ivan Awesomeoff replied to DorkPower on 10/12/2009
I'm in awe DorkPower. You now have found time to vote 700 times more than me. I'll probably be a major for the next two months. I think its time you pony up and buy this site :-) reply

Rank: Colonel DorkPower
DorkPower replied to Ivan Awesomeoff on 10/13/2009
Thanks Ivan. If I was a guy with money to burn, I would. But really, I don't want to be the owner of this dance club, just the guy who owns the floor with his awesome moves. reply

Rank: Tom Ivan Awesomeoff
Ivan Awesomeoff commented ( about Dwight K. Schrute ) on 1/19/2009
I can't believe Grammie spanked Dwight.. I wonder if it was fair fight? reply

Rank: Colonel The Dude
The Dude replied to Ivan Awesomeoff on 1/19/2009
Clearly Dwight couldn't get to any of his many weapons that are hidden around the office. reply

Rank: Tom Olav Rokne
Olav Rokne commented ( about Dwight K. Schrute ) on 1/16/2009
The case against Dwight:

1) This is a mainstream, currently popular pop-cultural reference that supports the product of a massive media conglomerate.

2) He's a rip-off of a more amusing character on the better British version of a TV show.

3) You laugh at Dwight because Rainn Wilson is trying to be funny. As opposed to, say, Benny Lava, who is awesome because he isn't trying to be funny.

I rest my case: Dwight K. Schrute is not awesome. reply

Rank: Gomer Jojo the Idiot Circus Boy
Jojo the Idiot Circus Boy replied to Olav Rokne on 1/16/2009
You are mistaken, and will be deducted 5 Schrute Bucks. reply


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