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Death Star
DEATH STAR
Rank: Pepper Love of the Awesome
Nominated by Love of the Awesome

Special Selection June 2009

This spherical moon size battle station produces the mother of all laser beams. The Death Star is capable of moving throughout the galaxy, destroying entire planets and spreading fear like a shadow of impending doom. 75 miles in diameter it has a surface like a metropolis full of detention blocks and interrogation cells. The death star is capable of housing a billion people and requires a million personnel to operate.

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Death Star was voted MORE AWESOME than:

Library of Congress


The Couch Dress


Moustache Balaclava


Shaved Ball Cap


Giant Nintendo Controller


Little Superstar


Meat Suitcase


Sasquatch


Unibrow


General Lee 01


Roller Derby


Dwight K. Schrute


Mister Rogers doing The Wave


Miracle On Ice


President Obama


The Hamburger Bed


Bob Ross


Flying Spaghetti Monster


Beer Maids


WAKE n' BACON


Zombies


Paul Bunyan


Space Invader Invasion


Octo-Stache


Peekaru


Queen of the Mist


Ultra Slow Motion


The Viking Helmet


Johnny Cash


Keith Loutit's Little Sydney


Soccer* Hooligans


Reliant Robin


Stinky Cheese


Chindogu


Notorious B.I.G. Doll


Rasputin


The Disintegrator: Rubber Band Minigun


Mermaids


Male Emperor Penguins


Rockin' Steady


Literal Video Versions


Chuck Norris vs. Bruce Lee


Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka


Hunter S. Thompson


Death Star was voted LESS AWESOME than:

Teddy Roosevelt


Chewbacca


Jesus Christ


Theo Jansen's Art


Nikola Tesla


Robocop on a Unicorn


Aurora Borealis


Badass Mountain Men


Hedgehogs


The Brick Testament


Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton


Captain James T. Kirk


The Man with No Name


Banksy


Teddy Roosevelt


Teddy Roosevelt


Choose Your Own Adventure Books


Library of Congress


Che Guevara


James Earl Jones Counts to 10


Emperor Norton


Jesus Riding A Dinosaur

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Teddy Roosevelt
TEDDY ROOSEVELT
Rank: Jimmy Olav Rokne
Nominated by Olav Rokne

June 2009 Champion

Adventurer, intellectual, author, soldier, cowboy, policeman, historian, America’s youngest president was all of these and more. An avid bibliophile with a photographic memory, Teddy Roosevelt loved to fight in the boxing ring and to hunt big game. Although he shot and killed hundreds of endangered animals, he also provided for greater environmental protection regulations than almost any other president. He was a man of many contradictions, but seemed to live life on a grander scale than is possible for even the most awesome among us.

In 1912, While Roosevelt was campaigning in Milwaukee, a saloon keeper named John Schrank shot him. Teddy Roosevelt, as an experienced hunter and anatomist, correctly concluded that since he wasn't coughing blood the bullet had not completely penetrated the chest wall to his lung, and so declined suggestions he go to the hospital immediately. Instead, he delivered his scheduled speech with blood seeping into his shirt.

His opening comments to the gathered crowd were, "Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose."

The man was a total badass whose genius intellect was only matched by the speed of his trigger finger and the force of his right hook.

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Teddy Roosevelt was voted MORE AWESOME than:

Chewbacca


The Couch Dress


Moustache Balaclava


Shaved Ball Cap


Giant Nintendo Controller


Jesus Christ


Meat Suitcase


Unibrow


Theo Jansen's Art


Theo Jansen's Art


General Lee 01


Crop Circles


Mock Apple Pie


Robocop on a Unicorn


Roller Derby


Freerunning


Dwight K. Schrute


Miracle On Ice


President Obama


The Hamburger Bed


Flying Spaghetti Monster


Badass Mountain Men


Beer Maids


Hedgehogs


WAKE n' BACON


Zombies


Space Invader Invasion


Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator


The Brick Testament


Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton


Captain James T. Kirk


The Man with No Name


Banksy


Octo-Stache


Peekaru


Queen of the Mist


Deja Vu


Ultra Slow Motion


Troy Hurtubise's Inventions


Troy Hurtubise's Inventions


The Viking Helmet


Johnny Cash


Stinky Cheese


James Earl Jones Counts to 10


Death Star


Chindogu


Tiesto


Library of Congress


Notorious B.I.G. Doll


Rasputin


Che Guevara


James Earl Jones Counts to 10


Death Star


Death Star


Mermaids


Male Emperor Penguins


Rockin' Steady


Indy's Whip


Literal Video Versions


Chuck Norris vs. Bruce Lee


Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka


Hunter S. Thompson


Emperor Norton


Jesus Riding A Dinosaur


Teddy Roosevelt was voted LESS AWESOME than:

Nikola Tesla


Aurora Borealis


Library of Congress


Library of Congress

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Rank: Pepper onetwobri
onetwobri commented ( about Teddy Roosevelt ) on 6/14/2009
Some Fast Facts about Teddy Roosevelt:
  • Roosevelt began every day by wrestling his entire cabinet and throwing them out the window.
  • When Rejected by the Mainstream Republican Party, Roosevelt created the "Bull Moose" party. Initially, only moose were allowed to join, as Roosevelt admired their solid, stubborn nature, their hatred of trusts, and their ability to legally have sex with female moose.
  • Later, party membership would be open to anyone who could grow antlers
  • The "teddy bear" was named after Teddy Roosevelt because of his love of bear meat and the fact that he was covered in fur
  • Teddy Roosevelt originally built the American Museum of Natural History as a kind of lepidopterist's "killing jar." But instead of butterflies, he put dinosaurs inside and starved them until they were skeletons
  • Roosevelt was originally from New York, but he shat Pennsylvania
  • Roosevelt died fighting an old lion and was buried in Mount Rushmore, where his gigantic, fossilized face stares out over the country he beat into shape to this very day.
(John Hodgman, More Information Than You Require) reply high five1

Rank: George Ivan Awesomeoff
Ivan Awesomeoff replied to onetwobri on 6/14/2009
If John Hodgman said it, I believe it reply high five

Rank: Pepper onetwobri
onetwobri replied to Ivan Awesomeoff on 6/14/2009
could you fix the format of my comment so it lists the fast facts? like..... -blah blah blah (enter) -blah blah blah reply high five2

Rank: Jimmy Olav Rokne
Olav Rokne replied to onetwobri on 6/14/2009
Wow! John Hodgman knows a lot about Teddy Roosevelt. reply high five

Rank: Pepper onetwobri
onetwobri replied to on 6/15/2009
thanks ivan! reply high five

Rank: Pepper Patrick Moniz
Patrick Moniz replied to onetwobri on 6/16/2009
And this is the most pertinent fact, Teddy Roosevelt fathered Chuck Norris! reply high five

Rank: Blade SnackPack
SnackPack commented ( about this matchup ) on 6/10/2009
The Death Star is about 39,000,000 google hits more awesome than Teddy. I'm surprised by Teddy Ro's results but I guess I understand. Johnny Cash is a very different bag o' beans. This prolific alcoholic easily earns my vote as the most over-rated competitor. reply high five

Rank: George The Dude
The Dude replied to SnackPack on 6/10/2009
The way I had to justify it to myself was, The Death Star is a planet sized station that destroys planets. Relatively speaking, that picture of him with the giant Bull Elephant he shot is far more impressive. That, and any man who can make a presidential address with a gun-shot wound EASILY gets my vote. reply high five

Rank: Jimmy Olav Rokne
Olav Rokne commented ( about Death Star ) on 6/10/2009
The Death Star could have destroyed the planet of the Jar Jar Binkses, but didn't. reply high five

Rank: Pepper Patrick Moniz
Patrick Moniz replied to Olav Rokne on 6/10/2009
It should have... reply high five

Rank: Jimmy Olav Rokne
Olav Rokne replied to Patrick Moniz on 6/10/2009
I know! That's an epic fail! reply high five

Rank: George Ivan Awesomeoff
Ivan Awesomeoff replied to Olav Rokne on 6/13/2009
Totally, epic epic fail reply high five

Rank: Blade T
T replied to Ivan Awesomeoff on 9/9/2009
I think the fact that a bunch of personafied catfish were able to take down that many droids and not get blown up only increases a giant laser's awesomeness. reply high five

Rank: Schultz TheTallTerror
TheTallTerror replied to on 6/17/2009
If it did, it would have been even more awesome. reply high five

Rank: Burr xyop96
xyop96 replied to TheTallTerror on 6/24/2009
yea lets all vote for queen of the mist now reply high five

Rank: Burr xyop96
xyop96 commented ( about this matchup ) on 6/10/2009
Herd About this on Twitter... Had to come Show Teddy Some Love reply high five

Rank: George The Dude
The Dude commented ( about this matchup ) on 6/10/2009
This is going to be one of the biggest matches of the month. reply high five

Rank: Blade Thad B. Awesome
Thad B. Awesome commented ( about Death Star ) on 6/7/2009
You people are voting for something that is used to efficiently kill billions of innocent people at a time. Sure, it is fictional, but you are still voting for a fictional floating planetwide holocaust device. Think about it. reply high five

Rank: Jimmy Olav Rokne
Olav Rokne replied to Thad B. Awesome on 6/8/2009
Sorry, much like Yorky, I have to vote against religious fanatic terrorists like Luke Skywalker, so the Death Star has my vote. reply high five

Rank: Blade Thad B. Awesome
Thad B. Awesome replied to Olav Rokne on 6/8/2009
Your logic has won me over. A vote for the Death Star is a vote for peace, justice, law, order, and the American way. A vote for Che Guevara is a vote for Luke Skywalker, Osama bin Laden, and the families of the victims of 9/11 who don't support the Iraq War. reply high five

Rank: George Ivan Awesomeoff
Ivan Awesomeoff replied to Thad B. Awesome on 6/9/2009
This is suddenly the best political debate I have heard in 10 years reply high five1

Rank: Jimmy Trane
Trane commented ( about Death Star ) on 6/6/2009
I actually noticed that there are no legit Death Star pictures in this slideshow. It must be so awesome, everyone just know what that is. reply high five


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