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Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator
BRAWNDO: THE THIRST MUTILATOR
Rank: Ermey Frizzle The Farout
Nominated by Frizzle The Farout
2nd Place April 09

Brawndo was created for the movie Idiocracy, but the makers of the film didn't let the concept live and die there. They actually make this stuff. You can order it from a number of on-line sites, and the web site and you tube videos that promote it are incredible.

Its ironic, in most cases you pay $2.25 for an energy drink, and it pisses you off that you got $.25 of product and paid for $2.00 in marketing. In this case, who cares what's really in the can. I'd pay the premium for the drink, just make SURE the marketing campaign keeps going!

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Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator was voted MORE AWESOME than:

Chewbacca


The Couch Dress


Shaved Ball Cap


Lamborghinis & Deloreans


Little Superstar


Meat Suitcase


Sasquatch


Venus Fly Traps


Garden Gnomes


Theo Jansen's Art


General Lee 01


Crop Circles


El Chupacabra


BigDog Robot


Dwight K. Schrute


Mister Rogers doing The Wave


President Obama


Wingsuit Base Jumping


Bob Ross


Polio Vaccine


WAKE n' BACON


Zombies


Don Hertzfeldt's Shorts


Ski Jump Toilet


Rollerman


Rollerman


Where the Hell is Matt?


Ninja Hauler Listing


UFOs


Double-Necked Guitars


Extreme Shepherding


Smoking Smarties


Cossacks


Paul Bunyan


Paul Bunyan


Super Broker Shuffle


Easter Eggs


The Leia Wig


Nessie


Hammerhead Sharks


Space Invader Invasion


Max Raabe


This Super Stars MusiCard


The Brick Testament


Johnny Cash


Library of Congress


Hunter S. Thompson


Mark Twain


Walking on the Moon


Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator was voted LESS AWESOME than:

Nikola Tesla


The Hamburger Bed


Flying Spaghetti Monster


Badass Mountain Men


Hedgehogs


Rollerman


Space Invader Invasion


Throwing Shoes at George Bush


Captain James T. Kirk


Banksy


Teddy Roosevelt


MST3K


Extent of the Universe


Emperor Norton


Jesus Riding A Dinosaur


Walking on the Moon


Les Claypool

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Rollerman
ROLLERMAN
Rank: Pepper HGxPerry
Nominated by HGxPerry
April 2009 Champion

Part Extreme Sport Enthusiast, Part Transformer, Part Super Hero.

Rollerman is Jean-Yves Blondeau. He designed the buggy rollin suit in 1994 as part of a design school project.  The suit has 33 wheels and can go up to 60 mph.  ~Buggy Rollin~

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Rollerman was voted MORE AWESOME than:

Monster Trucks


Moustache Balaclava


Giant Nintendo Controller


Japanese Game Shows


Jesus Christ


Lamborghinis & Deloreans


Little Superstar


Meat Suitcase


Sasquatch


Garden Gnomes


Mock Apple Pie


BigDog Robot


Roller Derby


Miracle On Ice


The Hamburger Bed


Bob Ross


Beer Maids


Hedgehogs


Zombies


Don Hertzfeldt's Shorts


Luchadores


Extreme Shepherding


Where the Hell is Matt?


UFOs


Extreme Shepherding


Smoking Smarties


Master of the Internet


Cossacks


Paul Bunyan


Paul Bunyan


Super Broker Shuffle


Easter Eggs


Nessie


Hammerhead Sharks


Space Invader Invasion


Space Invader Invasion


Max Raabe


Throwing Shoes at George Bush


Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator


The Brick Testament


Johnny Cash


James Earl Jones Counts to 10


Literal Video Versions


Les Claypool


Rollerman was voted LESS AWESOME than:

Chewbacca


Venus Fly Traps


Theo Jansen's Art


Nikola Tesla


Crop Circles


President Obama


Wingsuit Base Jumping


Aurora Borealis


Flying Spaghetti Monster


Polio Vaccine


Rabbit Holes


Space Invader Invasion


Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator


Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator


Captain James T. Kirk


The Man with No Name


Banksy


Library of Congress


Mark Twain


Emperor Norton


Jesus Riding A Dinosaur


Walking on the Moon

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Rank: Colonel The Dude
The Dude commented ( about Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator ) on 9/10/2009
Never bring an Ice Cream truck to a Taser fight. reply

Rank: Tom xyop96
xyop96 commented ( about Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator ) on 9/2/2009
i would love to Become more popular with law enforcement reply

Rank: Blade Godbot
Godbot replied to xyop96 on 9/4/2009
I've been somewhat popular with law enforcement in the past; while interesting and even hilariously amusing at times, overall I'd have to say it was so not awesome. reply

Rank: Ermey Frizzle The Farout
Frizzle The Farout commented ( about this matchup ) on 4/29/2009
TO A'NY OF YOU ABOUT TO VOTE' FOR THAT FRENCH ROBOT DUDe

DON'T'

CHECK OUT THE TWO OTHER COMMERCIALS FOR BRAWNDO ON YOU TUBE.
Please.
reply

Rank: Tom Olav Rokne
Olav Rokne commented ( about this matchup ) on 4/28/2009
Whichever one of these wins should win it all.

But I have to say I prefer Brawndo. Because it's more than just an energy drink with an awesome ad; it's what Brawndo represents.

It represents someone seeing a joke in a movie and deciding "Hey! That should actually exist!"

It represents an ironic sense of style over substance. It represents an awareness of stupid advertising claims. It represents the phrase "It has Electrolytes!" being a selling point when the consumer doesn't know what that means.

It represents freedom. It represents America. reply

Rank: Tom Olav Rokne
Olav Rokne replied to Olav Rokne on 4/28/2009
In fact, I will go so far as to say that to vote against Brawndo is anti-American.

If you vote for Rollerman, you are voting for the French.

So go ahead froggy, vote against Brawndo, but if you hate the USA that much, why don't you go and marry Osama. That's right, if you vote for Rollerman, you are supporting the terrorists. The terrorists who hate refreshment and would rather see you thirsty than drinking BRAWNDO! reply

Rank: Pepper HGxPerry
HGxPerry replied to Olav Rokne on 4/28/2009
On the other hand, Rollerman has a suit that allows him to roll on his stomach or back at highway speeds. Brawndo can only simulate that feeling. reply

Rank: Tom Olav Rokne
Olav Rokne replied to HGxPerry on 4/28/2009
Do you know what Rollerman doesn't offer? The feeling of being AMERICAN! Brawndo is the American flag *in a can*! Rollerman ... he's still FRENCH! Do you know what the antithesis of awesome is? It's being French. reply

Rank: Tom Ivan Awesomeoff
Ivan Awesomeoff replied to Olav Rokne on 4/29/2009
Bad news Olav.. It's looking like an all French finals. Maybe you took the wrong tactic with the pro-american ploy. This is the same crowd that gave 'throwing shoes at George Bush' a 14-7 record! reply

Rank: Colonel The Dude
The Dude replied to Ivan Awesomeoff on 4/30/2009
You can still be pro-American and anti-Bush. In fact, I might even go so far as to say that you HAVE to be anti-Bush to truly be pro-American. But that's a discussion for another website. reply

Rank: Tom Ivan Awesomeoff
Ivan Awesomeoff replied to The Dude on 4/30/2009
So true... and I would argue as well, you don't even have to hate Bush to think that whole scene with the flying shoes was awesome. You could even think Bush's shoe dodging skills were awesome! reply

Rank: Colonel The Dude
The Dude replied to Ivan Awesomeoff on 4/30/2009
I do have to give him props, his neo-like dodging skills give hope to all of us non-ninjas. reply

Rank: Tom xyop96
xyop96 replied to on 4/28/2009
dang... Heck Yes Olav +++rep reply

Rank: Klinger Vermac
Vermac commented ( about this matchup ) on 4/27/2009
vote for Brawndo or Paul Bunyan, we need some upsets.... reply

Rank: Schultz Kaapuetz
Kaapuetz replied to Vermac on 4/28/2009
right away sir. reply

Rank: Schultz Kaapuetz
Kaapuetz replied to Kaapuetz on 4/28/2009
lol, after saying that I just realized who you are! reply

Rank: Tom Ivan Awesomeoff
Ivan Awesomeoff replied to on 4/28/2009
Why do we need upsets? Sounds like a lame way to go. Vote for what is most awesome.. period! reply

Rank: T.B.D. (Captain) The McBoxman
The McBoxman commented ( about this matchup ) on 4/27/2009
Ah yes, its the battle or Brawndo vs. Blondeau. In my opinion, actually flying down the street is a whole lot more awesome that feeling like it. Plus, using Daft Punk as background music is just that much better. reply

Rank: Tom xyop96
xyop96 commented ( about this matchup ) on 4/27/2009
I VOTED FOR BR'AWNDO WITH MY FISTS'S! BECAU'SE I WANT TO BECOME' POP'ULAR! reply

Rank: Blade the_mad_nader
the_mad_nader commented ( about this matchup ) on 4/27/2009
Rollerman's awesomeness stems at least partially from the fact that it is apparently unintended. He just does his thing, and that's pretty freakin' awesome! Brawndo, on the other hand, seems to be a corporate-packaged, you will think this is awesome because focus groups have told us it incorporates all the elements you already think are awesome. Sure, there is still some Awesome in Brawndo...but it's less awesomeness than the sum of it's parts. Rollerman gets the nod! reply

Rank: Colonel The Dude
The Dude replied to the_mad_nader on 4/27/2009
I don't know about that. He's marketing the suit, which makes him corporate. So, now you have to ask which awesome is more awesome. The mass-marketed over the top awesome, or the subtle, rolling awesome. Both awesomes are fairly awesome. Hence, my quandary with this matchup. I've changed my mind five times already. reply

Rank: T.B.D. (Captain) The McBoxman
The McBoxman replied to The Dude on 4/27/2009
If this is a question of commercialism, Brawndo is clearly more commercial than Rollerman. I've never seen one of those on Dick's Sporting Goods mannequin reply

Rank: Tom Ivan Awesomeoff
Ivan Awesomeoff replied to The McBoxman on 4/27/2009
I'm ok with the commericialism. Brawndo is a commercial for a real product, but I think it was originally more about getting people to see a movie. I think it was just such an awesome marketing campaign they kept it going. I like Branwndo simply because of the balls it took to make it happen. But you start talking about balls... there is another youtube video where Rollerman passes a motorcycle while headed down a winding mountain road.. holy roller balls... reply

Rank: Pepper HGxPerry
HGxPerry replied to Ivan Awesomeoff on 4/28/2009
I think Rollerman just taking something he's passionate about and going with it. Brawndo is just another energy drink with a cool ad and a lame movie appearance. Then again, I have a bias towards Rollerman so I'd vote for him regardless of the opponent =P reply

Rank: Blade the_mad_nader
the_mad_nader replied to HGxPerry on 4/28/2009
That's my point exactly! It's not so much the commercialism itself, it's that commercialism was the genesis for the IDEA of Brawndo. Even if Rollerman did market his roller suit, that just followed his crazy passion for extreme sport/stunts reply

Rank: Tom xyop96
xyop96 replied to on 4/28/2009
from what i understand Brawndo was just a joke for a movie.. but then people were like wow this is hilarious and started to manufacture these drinks.. Thats Pretty Dang AweSome imo reply

Rank: Colonel The Dude
The Dude commented ( about this matchup ) on 4/27/2009
This one is agonizing for me. I think the final decision has to come down to which would I rather do, roll down the street in a badass suit with wheels all over it, or drive an ice cream truck full of ANGRY BEES through a petting zoo.... Damn, I think I just made things worse. reply

Rank: Tom Ivan Awesomeoff
Ivan Awesomeoff replied to The Dude on 4/27/2009
Brawndo: its like doing luge in traffic! reply

Rank: Schultz Under the Radar
Under the Radar replied to Ivan Awesomeoff on 4/27/2009
But Rollerman really IS doing luge in traffic!!! reply

Rank: Tom Ivan Awesomeoff
Ivan Awesomeoff replied to Under the Radar on 4/27/2009
Exactly my point! Rollerman is really doing something that sounds like the kind of thing Brawndo would talk about to sell energy drinks. reply

Rank: Colonel The Dude
The Dude commented ( about Rollerman ) on 4/17/2009
He reminds me of the Wheelers from "Return to Oz." "She's got a CHICKEN!!!!!" reply

Rank: Colonel The Dude
The Dude commented ( about Rollerman ) on 4/16/2009
I find it interesting that the only thing Rollerman has gone down to so far is Rabbit Holes, which is 6-8 so far for the month. reply

Rank: Tom Olav Rokne
Olav Rokne replied to The Dude on 4/16/2009
Have you ever hit a rabbit hole while you were rollerblading? It hurts! reply

Rank: Colonel The Dude
The Dude replied to Olav Rokne on 4/16/2009
You make an excellent point. reply

Rank: Blade TinManCometh
TinManCometh replied to The Dude on 4/18/2009
monster trucks can go over rabbit holes fine (and crush a couple lamborghinis and deloreas on the way) reply

Rank: Schultz Under the Radar
Under the Radar commented ( about Rollerman ) on 4/9/2009
Anything you make in school that turns you into a Daft Punk video prop is awesome. reply

Rank: Tom xyop96
xyop96 commented ( about Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator ) on 4/6/2009
LMAO "make words your bitch" thats great reply

Rank: Tom Ivan Awesomeoff
Ivan Awesomeoff replied to xyop96 on 4/6/2009
I just watched this again, at the end, really quickly it says "Because you can't drink a car battery" reply

Rank: Pepper Patrick Moniz
Patrick Moniz replied to on 4/7/2009
Dude I think that Brwando: The Thirst Mutilator is going to take it all this month. reply

Rank: Tom Olav Rokne
Olav Rokne replied to Patrick Moniz on 4/7/2009
It has what plants crave: Awesomeness. reply

Rank: Schultz Under the Radar
Under the Radar replied to on 4/17/2009
At first I thought it said "make words *you* bitch" which was also really funny. reply


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