SMURFETTE

Rank: Tom Ivan Awesomeoff
Nominated by: Ivan Awesomeoff
AwesomeOff: October 2008
Total Points: 408

As soon as I brought up Smurfette, it was immediatley brought to my attention that not all around me even knew who she was.  But to anyone who spent their adolescence learning way more than they needed to know about the world of Smurfs, she was awesome. 

Lets refresh the scene here.  Smurf Village was a total sausage fest.  Everbody was male, blue, and all dressed like they were playing a shirts and skins basketball game without the shirts.  Papa Smurf was the only old guy around, and even he didn't wear a shirt.  Everybody lived in mushrooms, and well, I'm sure mushrooms were involved in dreaming up the show.  I think what it comes down to is someone wanted to make a show about leprocauns, but just couldn't stand listening to that goddamn irish accent all day.  

Along comes Smurfette, and well, she's a total babe.  She was bleached blonde, had a voice like a Parliment smoker, and a pair of white high heels that rocked the forrest.  

But the best part was that before the evil gargamel created Smurfette ( he created her to introduce them to misery ), the concept of a woman didn't even exist.  So she was not only the hottest woman they'd ever seen, she was the only woman they'd ever seen.  All the Smurfs loved her, accepted her, and even got over the fact that she was created to ruin their lives. 

The remainder of her time on the show was hallmarked with awkard statements where the Smurfs constantly interject the word 'Smurf' for other verbs. Almost always sounding like swear words or worse.

Here's a selection from here first episode:

  • Papa Smurf: Are you smurfing with us Smurfette?
  • Hefty Smurf: She can't smurf us and get away with it!
  • Hefty Smurf: Don't cry Smurfette, my smurf is worse than my bite.
  • Papa Smurft: There, there, Smurfette, Gargamel created you to smurf us, its not your fault.
  • Jokey Smurf: Hey! I Smurfed her first!
  • Brainy Smuf: We've been Smurfed by the Smurfette

So basically thats it.  Smurfette was awesome for introducing sexual tension and inuendo to the most asexual television show in history.



Smurfette was voted MORE AWESOME than:

Spam


ZebraCorn


Smurfette was voted LESS AWESOME than:

Moustache Balaclava


Shaved Ball Cap


Three Legged Animals


Venus Fly Traps


Image Credits
Filename: smurfette2.jpg
Source: flickr user bbaltimore
Url: http://flickr.com/photos/bbaltimore/254176156/
Word on the Street

tucnak commented ( about Smurfette ) on 10/17/2008
Mr. Ivan Awesome knows just a little TOO much about our dear smurfette?? Hmmmmm

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