JESUS CHRIST

Rank: Tom Ivan Awesomeoff
Nominated by: Ivan Awesomeoff
AwesomeOff: October 2008
Total Points: 43242

Again, a list of accomplishments is pretty quick and easy here.  For the record, there were hundreds of miracles, here's just a taste:

  • Walked on water... speaks for itself.. awesome. I hate getting wet too.
  • Made water into wine (poured out a little for his fallen homies)
  • Rocked the whole long hair hippie look better than anyone in history (at a time when most of the Roman Empire looked like total squares)
  • Came up with the idea of coming back from the dead, nineteen hundred and sixty years before the Night of the Living Dead writers ripped him off
  • Cured leprosy, fever, deafness, blindness, paralysis.. (wasn't huge into sharing those cures unfortunately)
  • Performed exorcisms without causing projectile vommiting
  • Fed 5,000 men with a couple loafs of bread. Kept the leftovers in Tupperware©
  • Purified water faster than a Britta Pro 8000

...and if that all isn't awesome enough, consider this.  Back when he was into carpentry, he had to deal with a board that was too short.   You guessed it.. he stretched it.  Awesome

Footnote: be fore warned, it may very well be a sin to vote against J.C.



Jesus Christ was voted MORE AWESOME than:

Chewbacca


Moustache Balaclava


Little Superstar


Meat Suitcase


Meat Suitcase


Mullet Family


Sasquatch


Three Legged Animals


Cuy - last supper


General Lee 01


Crop Circles


Mock Apple Pie


El Chupacabra


Dwight K. Schrute


Mister Rogers doing The Wave


Bob Ross


WAKE n' BACON


Space Invader Invasion


James Earl Jones Counts to 10


Death Star


Chuck Norris vs. Bruce Lee


Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka


Les Claypool


Jesus Christ was voted LESS AWESOME than:

Airblaster Ninja Suit


Moustache Balaclava


Shaved Ball Cap


Shaved Ball Cap


Giant Nintendo Controller


Side Stache


K.I.T.T.


Venus Fly Traps


Nikola Tesla


Robocop on a Unicorn


Freerunning


Miracle On Ice


The Hamburger Bed


Wingsuit Base Jumping


Aurora Borealis


Flying Spaghetti Monster


Beer Maids


Hedgehogs


Rollerman


The Brick Testament


Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton


Captain James T. Kirk


The Man with No Name


Teddy Roosevelt


Extent of the Universe


Mark Twain


Emperor Norton


Jesus Riding A Dinosaur


Walking on the Moon


Image Credits
Filename: jc.jpg
Source: Ivan Awesomeoff
Word on the Street

Rank: Schultz Metronomis
Metronomis commented ( about Jesus Christ ) on 9/24/2009
Seriously when is Jesus going up against Jesus Riding on a Dinosaur

Rank: Ermey Yorky
Yorky replied to Metronomis on 9/24/2009
I think that's already happened.

Rank: T.B.D. (Captain) Awesomealot
Awesomealot replied to Yorky on 9/24/2009
Not yet. I think you're getting Jesus Christ confused with Robocop on a Unicorn. Easy mistake.

Rank: Blade Godbot
Godbot replied to Awesomealot on 9/25/2009
OMG, no kidding! I've lost count of the times I've accidentally said, "In the name of Robocop on a Unicorn, Amen," at the end of my prayers. Boy, is THAT embarrassing!

Rank: Tom Ivan Awesomeoff
Ivan Awesomeoff commented ( about Jesus Christ ) on 9/10/2009
Its kind of shocking how much I vote for JC, considering how I'm not really super into him.

Rank: Blade Godbot
Godbot replied to Ivan Awesomeoff on 9/11/2009
Residual guilt is a powerful force.

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